


Probably Some Kind of Hunting Lodge for Rich Weirdos

by AxeMeAboutAxinomancy



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Halloween, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 03:11:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AxeMeAboutAxinomancy/pseuds/AxeMeAboutAxinomancy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mr Goddard throws a fancy dress party for Halloween. Martin doesn't want to go, but Carolyn gives him no choice. Things quickly become awkward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Probably Some Kind of Hunting Lodge for Rich Weirdos

**Author's Note:**

> For Let’s Write Cabin Pressure's October Challenge.

"You can't make me, Carolyn."

"I aver that I can. Resign yourself."

"No! I'm a pilot and this is not in my job description! I have things to do! I don't want to go to a client's Halloween party!"

"Don't care."

"Mr Goddard thinks I'm a steward," wailed Martin. "And you told him I used to be a woman!"

"Cheer up, Skip, he thinks _I'm_ a pilot."

"That does _not_ cheer me up Arthur!"

"Oh right. That cheers _me_ up."

Douglas said, "It hardly matters who he thinks you are, Martin, it's fancy dress, he won't recognise you if you play your cards right."

"I don't want to go and play my cards at all!"

"Oh don't be so childish! I will _pay_ for a costume hire, you can try the shop where I got Paramount Martin's uniform."

Martin seethed. But he was slightly mollified to know he wouldn't have to pay, or even worse, try to come up with a costume on his own. That sort of effort was nightmarish enough in his youth. 'Tramp' was far too close to his real life now, and 'woman' was right out for many reasons.

Douglas succeeded in wrangling his own costume hire out of Carolyn as well, and so they went to the shop together in Douglas' car. Arthur didn't need to go, as he assured them he had plenty of costumes at home, and they were perfectly able to believe him.

Douglas had no trouble at all in making his selection. He looked rather dashing actually. Great War General suited him down to the ground, even without a moustache.

But Martin was too short for most of the costumes still available. The _men's_ costumes. Of course the women's were all perfect except for that one vital detail.

"Douglas I will absolutely not dress up as a girl, not for any reason, I _will not do it."_

"All right, all right," Douglas said mildly, putting the Slave Leia gear back onto the rack. "Sir has most emphatically made his point."

"Stop teasing me and just _help_ , can't you? There's got to be something. If _you_ were the short one, you'd have already thought of three things at least."

This was true. So Douglas made his suggestion.

And naturally, it fit.

And so, with a few slight alterations, an Amelia Earhart costume became a Biggles costume. With the addition of two false moustaches to the order, everyone was satisfied.

Yes, it was childish, a bit. But Biggles was a pilot. And a hero.

And a man.

***

Carolyn's costume was simply amazing. Queen Elizabeth I, from one of the famous portraits, with an orange gown encrusted with paste jewels, a monstrous ruff, and a fantastic hat like a sailing ship.

She tried to act as though she weren't enjoying it, but she so obviously was. She had not worn a wig and had done nothing to change her hair, but somehow it absolutely worked. If one had looked at her standing beside the painting, one would have come away feeling that Elizabeth should have had spiky white fringe.

Arthur… wore an alarming amalgam of his three favourite costumes, because clearly he could not decide on any one of them. He was a polar bear. He was a bee. He was a unicorn. Did it matter? He was Arthur.

The drive to Bracknell was almost identical to the route Martin took home to Wokingham to see his mum. The familiarity of it added an extra low level layer of anxiety, because trips home always had that. That Douglas was the one driving, and that the four of them were all in costume, jammed into Douglas' Lexus, lent a dreamlike spin to the anxiety that was, at the very least, a change of pace.

Normally Martin felt stupid and self conscious in fancy dress. But somehow, this costume… he didn't mind. Not really. He was, at least, a pilot - he could legitimately talk about flying - or Biggles, he'd certainly read the books - as much as he liked without it being in the least inappropriate. He could drink, too, if he liked, because obviously Douglas was driving them all home.

Mr Goddard's house had, apparently, been built on the site of the house he grew up in, as well as that of its nearest neighbours, and it filled the property on which it stood almost to the square inch. It was a rather ugly little modern castle, and Martin's expectations as they went inside were of a very traditional sort of party, boring if one weren't drunk, with possibly a band rather than a playlist, since Mr Goddard _was_ a telecom millionaire.

But while it was a party on Halloween, and fancy dress, it was _not_ what Martin was expecting.

"Welcome!" Mr Goddard was smiling and effusive and everything he hadn't been the last time Martin saw him. A bit drunk, from the flush on his cheeks, or was that blusher? He was also dressed in a corset and fishnets. "Welcome! Happy Halloween! It's my favourite holiday," he added inconsequentially to Carolyn.

"I would never have guessed," she said.

And neither was Mr Goddard's mansion traditional. Inside, it was still a sort of ugly castle… But it was also a movie theatre. There was a full size, possibly authentic Art Deco movie theatre _inside his house._

It had a box office in front, on a field of black and white tile. There was a pretty girl on duty behind the shiny window. There was a marquee, gorgeous with running lights.

On the marquee it said:

TONIGHT ONLY

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW

WITH LIVE SHADOW CAST

DON'T DREAM IT, BE IT.

Martin realised too late that he had forgotten to don his Biggles moustache, and that Mr Goddard had definitely recognised him - or who he was supposed to be. "Arthur!" said Mr Goddard, and slung an arm round Martin's neck. He was wearing a sequined glove on that arm and it scratched.

"I'm so glad you came," said Mr Goddard, breathing beer fumes in Martin's face, "The cast are all dying to meet you, you're the guest of honour."

"What?" said Martin, who didn't get it.

"Oh God," said Carolyn, who did.

"They're thrilled! I mean in the movie it's really just the name of a planet, but here you are, a real live transexual. Come on, let's get you a drink!"

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry to post something incomplete after saying I wouldn't anymore, but I promised something for this challenge and I can't get it finished before NaNoWriMo starts. More to come! - I am in a Rocky Horror cast, but I promise, Cast Member Mary Sue will not be appearing. :)


End file.
